Its been so long, since I last posted.. Much has happened but its all for the better. God is with me, and there's nothing better i'll ask for.

Thank you God who took someone out of my life. Thank you God for watching over me and guided me. I Love you God!!!

Kay now to what I wanna blog abt..

=p

Its been 5 years of working at cckps... I'm tired.. very tired and sick of it... but i cannot move because of my degree, which is another 2 more years of suffering.. sigh... 

I am jealous, freaking jealous that Eddie get to go in NIE to study.. Yes Yes i noe that i had my chance... but its juz so sickening and depressing to have to remain at cckps and study part time... i dun even have my dreams anymore... yaadaa yaadaa yaadaaa i am complaining..... I am juz so sick of my life... 

ARUUGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why push?? why keep pushing me?
guys r the same, never meant what they said..
wat, u wun stress or pressure me, no commitment blah blah blah...

Bullshit.. Juz because i refused to get into shit with you, u give me attitude..
well to hell with u then... it shows me wat kind of person u r then..

I was beginning to think that u seemed quite alrite and i dun mind being "frens" with u .. till we get to know each other better..

But what u did, really put me off..

U have no freakin idea how terrified i am!

And i dun noe u well enuff, neither do u noe me well enuff....

Pls.. dun stress me...

if u do.. then Fuck off!!

Dun barge in...

Its been ages, since my last post, shity and happy times both passed me by..
=)
I realised i dun really blog about happy times coz i end up basking in it.. why spend the time in front of my comp whinning away when i am happy and have better things to do??

I am scared, real scared... When the guy juz gets into my life, gosh it terrifies me.. how could i ever learn to trust someone again? to believe in a relationship again? The trauma is there, i cant get rid of it.. I dun wanna like him, its too risky.. I wanna keep my heart under lock and key.. Juz dun barge in pls.. I've only known u for a while, so pls dun keep pushing and rushing me... I feel very stressed... pressured.. Juz be a friend to me, i need nothin more.. coz no matter how nice someone is, They"ll changed over time..
I cannot bring myself to believe that u"ll really be a friend kinda Boyfriend who really juz enjoys my company, loves the funky way that i am , the crappy side of me and dun ever try to limit my freedom, stop me from being the person that i am.. ever.. and did i add? someone who'll hangout with my friends?

Sorry I juz dun believe in u... I've met too much shit not to learn from it.. The best i can offer u is my friendship...
i dun wanna ever be nice to someone again, all the times that i gave my all, i dun get them back, dun see why should i go down that path again?

So i'm sorry..

asking for it??

I muz be asking for it...

to put myself in this situation..

not that its bad but somehow i juz couldnt leave you alone...

that few days that i succeed in remaining aloof and not keepin contact..

i juz kept thinkin of you in odd moments...

not in the heart breaking upset kinda way..

juz wondering and reminiscing...

maybe i'm kinda loser in that way..

but i juz decided that wat others think dun matter..

I dun want to force myself to do something that i dun want to..

my choice my consequences...

I'll let go at my own time and pace...

same old

I do think of u.. N I miss u...
But I'm learnin to move on...

Moving away from Pee Moving away

I began my first step of moving on....

It doesnt affect me pee it doesnt>>

Not a lil bit...

coz pee dun care shit abt me....

so why should i?

n dun check on me either... It dun concern u...

Hah How's that for an attitude! =p

Will try to move on pee

It seemed so easy to juz joke and laugh about silly stuff..

when I left, my heart tore...

I should give up that hope, no matter how slim it is...

I should move on, juz be ur fren...

i miss pee i miss....

I will try my best to leave and move on...

Its driving me nuts...

Hates it when i get dissapointed...

Why give hopes when none is coming forth?

Why make it harder for others?

WHy?