Dun barge in...

Its been ages, since my last post, shity and happy times both passed me by..
=)
I realised i dun really blog about happy times coz i end up basking in it.. why spend the time in front of my comp whinning away when i am happy and have better things to do??

I am scared, real scared... When the guy juz gets into my life, gosh it terrifies me.. how could i ever learn to trust someone again? to believe in a relationship again? The trauma is there, i cant get rid of it.. I dun wanna like him, its too risky.. I wanna keep my heart under lock and key.. Juz dun barge in pls.. I've only known u for a while, so pls dun keep pushing and rushing me... I feel very stressed... pressured.. Juz be a friend to me, i need nothin more.. coz no matter how nice someone is, They"ll changed over time..
I cannot bring myself to believe that u"ll really be a friend kinda Boyfriend who really juz enjoys my company, loves the funky way that i am , the crappy side of me and dun ever try to limit my freedom, stop me from being the person that i am.. ever.. and did i add? someone who'll hangout with my friends?

Sorry I juz dun believe in u... I've met too much shit not to learn from it.. The best i can offer u is my friendship...
i dun wanna ever be nice to someone again, all the times that i gave my all, i dun get them back, dun see why should i go down that path again?

So i'm sorry..