There's a little cloud of gloom hanging over my head. This Little sneaky guy known as apprehension lurking about. Sowing seeds of his disquiet... Doing what he does best.
Uneasiness starts falling in tiny droplets from the gloom above...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Start of the Suffering
it has been a tiring first few weeks of school... haven been sleeping well.
could it be due to my self induced stress or
is there juz too many things to be done and too little time.. probably the latter..
No matter how i rest , my body never feels refreshed..
maybe i need to visit a shrink..
guess work is boring me down.. i dun even write anymore let alone draw..
I feel really tired and drained... well have to keep plodding on i guess
Life ya' noe.. =p
if there isnt such things call sch hols i'll probably check into IMH soon..
No shit...
well on the bright side its juz abt 2 and half years more to go... grind and bear it DaWn!!!
the fact that all my kakis are in the AM and
i was so cheated to be in the PM, makes this year pretty lonely.. i feel so isolated.. i dun see them much too..
i feel really cheated about the pathetic periods assigned to me for PE.
i juz dun understand why would they assigned non PE trained teachers for PE who cant even teach PE decently and let me take dumb shit lame subjects like Health Ed n Social studies
feels so under utilized.
Maybe at the bottom of it i am unhappy with my work... coz i juz cannot align my personal beliefs with the school's. when they dumped irrelevant subjects rather than what i was trained for to teach and expect with me to produce results. i would of course work hard for the students but i hate it when they are forcing me.. or rather AA.
i dun think i feel happy ever since i started to work officially in this school.
i cant remember the last time that i laugh. Lil Lion has been like my buoy in this sea of pressure.. his stable presence and company helped me stay afloat.. i really dun noe how things will be like in the 2 months that he wont be here.
i reflected on myself some time back that i should change my attitude and be more positive to work.. well i am now i dun hate my work anymore but ultimately i know that i dun feel happy.
i am drowning and losing myself to this mundane life..
sounds so gloomy...
Is it juz me or is everyone like me?
maybe if one day i get depression.. it'll probably be because of my work environment... its not the kids its the school
and this is juz the start of the suffering..
could it be due to my self induced stress or
is there juz too many things to be done and too little time.. probably the latter..
No matter how i rest , my body never feels refreshed..
maybe i need to visit a shrink..
guess work is boring me down.. i dun even write anymore let alone draw..
I feel really tired and drained... well have to keep plodding on i guess
Life ya' noe.. =p
if there isnt such things call sch hols i'll probably check into IMH soon..
No shit...
well on the bright side its juz abt 2 and half years more to go... grind and bear it DaWn!!!
the fact that all my kakis are in the AM and
i was so cheated to be in the PM, makes this year pretty lonely.. i feel so isolated.. i dun see them much too..
i feel really cheated about the pathetic periods assigned to me for PE.
i juz dun understand why would they assigned non PE trained teachers for PE who cant even teach PE decently and let me take dumb shit lame subjects like Health Ed n Social studies
feels so under utilized.
Maybe at the bottom of it i am unhappy with my work... coz i juz cannot align my personal beliefs with the school's. when they dumped irrelevant subjects rather than what i was trained for to teach and expect with me to produce results. i would of course work hard for the students but i hate it when they are forcing me.. or rather AA.
i dun think i feel happy ever since i started to work officially in this school.
i cant remember the last time that i laugh. Lil Lion has been like my buoy in this sea of pressure.. his stable presence and company helped me stay afloat.. i really dun noe how things will be like in the 2 months that he wont be here.
i reflected on myself some time back that i should change my attitude and be more positive to work.. well i am now i dun hate my work anymore but ultimately i know that i dun feel happy.
i am drowning and losing myself to this mundane life..
sounds so gloomy...
Is it juz me or is everyone like me?
maybe if one day i get depression.. it'll probably be because of my work environment... its not the kids its the school
and this is juz the start of the suffering..
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